Semester With McPherson (2012)

Well, I got extremely lucky with my schedule this year and was put into another class with the great Mr. McPherson. It's only been about two weeks in his class and I already have a bunch of quotes. I literally have to bite my lower lip to stop myself from laughing in the middle of his lesson. It's a "You had to be there" kind of thing, but I hope you can find the humor in it anyway.


"Everybody knows about copying your buddy's homework. It was around when I was in school. It was around when my daddy was in school."

"The only thing worse than a sophomore is a freshman."

"If you're that desperate to have friends, to be in the POPular crowd, then more power to ya!"

"If you come to my desk and take and use some of myself without asking, IMMA FLY HOT AT YOU!!!"

"I was always walking in the rain getting somewhere."

"I didn't put a rule to not set the building on fire, but it's common sense."

"....if you have the Bubonic Plague and you're out for like two weeks...THAT'S the type of thing you get excused for."

"Don't pick a fight with people you don't know, especially crazy people... well anyone really, because if they won't get in your face, they'll just pop a cap in your rear end!"

"In general, when one lost it, they ALL lost it." *HAHAHA* "No, I mean riots!!"

"We had a 10 year old who killed his entire family because his grandmother wouldn't let him hang out with his friends at 7 Eleven ... cute little kid."

"What's the illuminati? I've never heard of it, is it some Catholic belief, because I'm Protestant."

"You're going to have some quizzes unannounced i.e. POP QUIZZES."

"They give you a $5 word when a nickle word would've been just fine."

"If it's working, don't fix it, then this guy goes and invents grads... then no one used it."

"No, that's what it was, men living in tents, herding goats."

"The Greeks were living in caves and hunting dinosaurs while the Chinese were writing down and teaching geometry, but the Greeks got all the credit!"

"If it looks like a straight line, IT IS."

"85 BUCKS for a four function calculator , I didn't even know they existed!"

"That tree's probably 40 years old."

"Not if you have 3 billion 672 degrees."

"We did everything by hand!"

"Seconds are relatively small."

"I can't divide anymore."

"Oh there isn't a third warning, the world just comes crashing down on your little head."

"Ah I better roll up my pants because it's getting deep."

student- "I like your tie." McPherson- "Thanks. My wife picked it out." student- "Why?"
McPherson- "She says I dress like an old man."

"Again, we're going rationalize the denominator..."

"We wasically, huh! We wasically, we BASICALLY..."

"And they were confusing as all crap!"

"Go over there and touch it, I want to know what you're talking about."

"I've never fallen off a bus, I've fallen off of other things. I once fell off a ladder."

"Your test will comprise of multiple choice and fiill-in-the-bank." (yes, he said bank)

"He chewed some 30 year old gum and got the trots."

"I was hoping you'd screw that one up."

"I hate winter! Every time I touch the blackboard, it shocks me!"

"Look up now, this is understanding an abstract concept!"

"That's the first time I've seen you smile. That's okay, I like to look mean, too."

"You look like a laid-back bum type."

"I had an uncle who wouldn't make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, he made his wife make it."

"FORGOT MY THETA..!"