Semester With McPherson (2012)

"There are no 4-5 mile tape measures."

"There are mountains taller than Mountain Everest in Hawaii; you just have to start under the ocean... but anyway..."

"That's what it boils down to: hairdos and fingernails."

"A guy takes 5 minutes to get ready. It takes a girl 5 days and she's still not ready."

"How is it that chapstick will get you a hundred?"

"I can go to the Dollar Tree and buy a 4 function calculator for one dollar all night."

"That's alright, in Virginia you can drink and drive and kind of get a warning."

"Don't go to North Carolina. And if you do, don't drink and drive. THEY WILL BURN YOU IN A HEARTBEAT."

Student- "What were you driving?"
McPherson- "A Plymouth."
Student- "Oh, that's probably why."
McPherson- "Yeah... it sucked."

"Remember, use when amicab- GET UP!"

"Sit up and pretend you're doing something!"

"Gonna wash the chalk dust off my hands..."

"A transit is basically a protractor on steroids."

"It was basically a big tape measure... but it was a chain."

"The tangent is in minutes... so the tangent is 16 minutes."

"I don't want to wait til I get to page 84, I want to get there NOW!"

"CRANK AND DIAL! CRANK AND DIAL!"

"I think it's the same symbol, they just added a lightning bolt."

"It shoots 10,000 bullets a second. It's like 'meech', it shoots down a bullet."

"Why re-invent the wheel? We can just steal one of theirs."

"Stop sitting there with your jaw hanging and DO IT!"

"We're just drawing the picture, we don't even know what the question is yet."

*HEAVILY BLOWS ON CALCULATOR* "Had to get out that chalk dust!"

"...toggle over to the end."

"It was an evil tree, it had to be cut down."

"You look at one of his album covers, he looks like Jim Croce!"

"Wait til chapter 4." *mischievous smirk*

"Anybody want a stencil?....No?"

"I called you Sunshine."

"I don't want to hurt your feelings, it just wasn't funny."

"Personal opinions are like rear ends. We all have them and they all stink."

"Life is a competition."

"Let me tell you a story, well it's from a book, I don't know if its true or not."

"...And the lawyer goes, 'Fair enough.'"

"I'm tired. I wanna go home. But I have to work til 10 o'clock tonight. I bet you didn't wanna hear that though."

"Spring Dance, or Ring Dance rather."

"Saturday school... that's obviously on a Saturday."

"It's good when more people ask for it. MORE BANG FOR YOUR BUCK."

"I'm going to be lazy and use my calculator...that's what it's for."

"Mhmmm, very lovely." *sarcasm*

"I'M RAISING MY VOICE, THIS IS THE IMPORTANT PART!"

"I prefer the metric system myself."

"How many of you have ever had to push a car?"

"I don't really know the size of Djibouti."

"Do you walk often?"

"Don't make me come over there!"

"I wish I could get a calculator with really big buttons."

"I have big fingers. I just keep pushing like 5 buttons at the same time."

"I wear a size 14 ring, you could probably wear it as a bracelet."

"Want a tissue?"

"It's 2π... it can't be 2π...?"

"This is a bad economy to be looking for a job."

"I know it's out of our control, but it's starting to get disruptive!"

"WRITE THAT DOWN AND PUT IT ON YOUR BLOG!"